And

And couldn't you have tried a bit harder?
Couldn't you have forced out bravery
and understanding like paste from a
tube - a snake of your courage.

And couldn't you have loved me
a bit more? Wasn't there a spell
or a mantra, to chant me into
your affection? Imagine I'm a
kitten or a duckling - does that help?

And why did you paint me
such a rotten portrait? Couldn't
you have given me away forever
to save this ripe hatred? The
hatred blossoming and burning
through my baby heart.
You stunted me - couldn't you have set me free?

I breathe but it tastes like coal
And I see but it's overexposed
And I taste but it's all aspirin
powder and cigarettes.

Couldn't you have left me
alone? Because I
touch but the only one that
feels is you.

You numbed me
And all I could do was watch
And all I could do was join in
And we both let me disintegrate.

Cleo's mother died last night. She took control too much. And Cleo doesn't even know who she's angry with anymore.

She thinks;
I am jealous you escaped
I am terrfied
I am alone
I am free
She thinks, I crave to have my mother back, my mother who was never really there at all.

There are a million ways to destroy yourself, you can burn or drown or cut or hang, you can implode, ingest, give up, throw up, jump from, bury, rip, or you can simply disappear.
If you vulture-yourself, how long before you're eaten up?

There's a new man now, he must love her, he must fancy her, he must want to screw her. He spoke and looked and gave her a present. Sweat beaded on his temples.
And Cleo was so wrong and sick and broken, but he didn't seem to care.

Cleo wants a boat to sail away, or wings to fly across the sky, or a fast car to drive into the ground. She is going, going, gone.