And

And couldn't you have tried a bit harder?
Couldn't you have forced out bravery
and understanding like paste from a
tube - a snake of your courage.

And couldn't you have loved me
a bit more? Wasn't there a spell
or a mantra, to chant me into
your affection? Imagine I'm a
kitten or a duckling - does that help?

And why did you paint me
such a rotten portrait? Couldn't
you have given me away forever
to save this ripe hatred? The
hatred blossoming and burning
through my baby heart.
You stunted me - couldn't you have set me free?

I breathe but it tastes like coal
And I see but it's overexposed
And I taste but it's all aspirin
powder and cigarettes.

Couldn't you have left me
alone? Because I
touch but the only one that
feels is you.

You numbed me
And all I could do was watch
And all I could do was join in
And we both let me disintegrate.